It all started when Carl came home from work and he is BITCHING about everything. The house isnt clean enough. Dinner was in the oven and not on the table. Caleb had a pissy diaper. Just everything....lately he has been coming home and seems so miserable. I hate to feel like he is unhappy here and unhappy with me or us. He sent me over the edge!! He toldme that I was talking to another guy (that i have never heard the name before) Just a petty fight turned into a big raging argument. OVER NOTHING. I decided to "give him the weekend" to himself. He lost his temper and threw his phone and broke it. I went to my moms for the weekend. Caleb went with me. My sister and I went and picked up dinner for my parents and us and had a great night. At 2am Caleb was STILL awake. At my moms all he has is his playpen. Hes outgrown it BIG TIME. He couldn't sleep. So Shelby and I took him home and I woke Carl up and told him that Caleb would be spending the weekend with him so I could clear my head and decide how to deal with things. The next day Mom and my sisters and I went out to lunch and shopping. We had a fun girls day. It was nice not to have to worry about diaper bags and a baby. Shelby and I went to saw New Moon that Saturday night. Had a blast except for the RUDE ghetto idiots at the mall that late at night. I stayed at my moms that night too and I cried myself to sleep. Ive never stayed away from Caleb since he has been born. Felt weird. But I ended up going back home that Sunday and getting back into my schedule and hectic life. I have not "forgiven" anything because nothing has even been apologized for!! I feel like I am "settling" for a lot of things in my life. But my life has become so comfortable but not happy. I don't know what to do or think sometimes. That's all for now!
I know exactly how you feel.. I can relate. That's the same way I felt with Joey at one point, I was comfortable, a new baby, but I was so unhappy.. I felt as if I HAD to stay because I knew nothing else, but after I went to jail I realized that I had to make myself happy, I had to get away and I had to remind myself that I'm better, I deserve better and NOBODY was going to treat me the way he was treating me. I'd rather be a poor, single mom than to be miserable with someone. I knew we needed our break though, even if it wasn't for very long I KNEW we needed something or it wasn't ever going to get better. Don't EVER settle because you're scared or for ANY reason, I always said I'd fight for my family, but there is only so much fighting you can do before you realize you're better off. I hope everything is going better for you now though, I can tell you're an awesome mommy & housewifey so do not settle for less than you deserve!
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